“up and down”

To say these past few weeks have been “up and down” would be a massive understatement. I have started my CBT sessions which have been both daunting and encouraging.

I struggled to sleep the night before my first session due to worrying about how the session would go, overthinking about what I would need to discuss/do. My mind was relentlessly torturing me; my anxiety was through the roof! Then to my surprise the first session went so good, I felt empowered and motivated knowing that I am now working on a proper plan to help keep myself well and stable, as well as gaining clearer knowledge on how to manage my depression.

My second session however was much more difficult, a lot of difficult topics were discussed, which left me feeling emotionally/mentally drained. Lucky enough though I already have my own little plan of how to cope at these times and so I’ve made time to do things I enjoy that lift my mood. Simple things like relaxing in a lavender bath, putting a facemask on and afterwards listening to a healing meditation. These small things really do help to calm the body and mind; if you haven’t already I definitely suggest you make time to try them.

Alongside the above, day to day life carries on, so it’s been a bit of a challenging time as of late. I’ve been told that the first few sessions are the worst and it will get easier as the sessions go on. I know in the long run it will be worth it.

I’ve also been keeping my mind distracted with decorating my home. Its been crying out for a lick of paint and freshen up for ages now so I decided to just crack on and work my way through the house a room at a time. It’s been some hard graft but I’m very pleased with the outcomes. As well as being a great distraction from my thoughts, the sense of achieved I get when another room is completed feels amazing!

So all in all my life is about rolling with the emotions at the moment, I’m taking each day as comes, trying to capture the daily positive things in my life and more importantly trying to keep the smile on my face.